U.S.- Mexico Border

The sadness that lives in this picture. Even thou we are neighbors, the US has not succeeded in providing Mexico with proper guidelines or proper funding to help it advance to a modern and developed nation. 

May 11th, 2012

Well today is the day I can officially say I’m done with APs this year. However I still have one IB exam, 2 finals and SATs but whatever… I have the weekend to enjoy and take advantage of. The funny part is that during my English exam, there was this one essay that made me think about her. While I was reading that piece of writing (I can’t share the piece because AP spies could cancel my scores) I just thought about her. It’s a bit sad when you look at it because I don’t know if she likes me or not. I sadly don’t have the guts to ask her. My reasons vary because each reason covers my levels of confidence. I think I chance with her and I just don’t want to rush “us.” (Just background info for my nonfriend readers, her ex moved to our state’s governor school and thats how he broke up with her) While my other side of confidence which says she is so much classier to even think about dating me. This side thinks it’s not worth ruining a friendship to find out. In other words, don’t want to be rejected. The story of my life. A lot of my friends say I should just find out, but I’m still in conflict. 

May 12th, 2012

Another night I can’t sleep :( and I have to wake up tomorrow and go to this charity thing. I mean no disrespect when I say thing or make it sound like a burden. This charity event is in honor of a friend who passed away my freshman year. Though I barely knew him compared to other students and friends at my school, the short time I knew him, he taught me so much. I could say he had a direct effect on the way I turned out. He taught me the importance of public speaking and gave me a person I could look up to; he is my role model. If I had the opportunity, I would have taken advantage of every second so I could have know him better and also thank him for all the little things he told me. 

Time to learn, live, love - Gary Fan

Yesterday was a long day and today is going to be even longer.  

Something I liked:

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHYZy8SFp54)

May 12, 2012

My day wasn’t too exciting, it was filled with picking up cinder blocks and wood and also a ton of sleeping. But it did have an interesting twist. It was really nice talking to one of my followers on this blog. 

Because nothing too interesting happened today, I had a lot of time to sleep and dream, oh also think. When I have time I just sit in a corner or outside on the bench and stare off into space. I actually thought about what I want to do, what I want, and what is the next step in my life. 

Well the first one is a sad story. When looking back at middle school, I regret one thing, I didn’t work hard enough and didn’t take things seriously. And with that, I didn’t take freshman and the first half of sophomore year seriously either. Due to that, I’m not top in my class and I seriously doubt that I will get into any top universities of my choice. I’m still working hard but it doesn’t mean it will pay out 100% at the end. So I decided, when the worst situation does come, I will end up at Clemson University for my undergrad and then transfer out for med school to somewhere like Stanford or Emory. I mean it’s not a bad situation when looking at it further. The biggest plus side is that I wouldn’t have to pay the outrageous college fees for out of state students. For some odd reason my heart just sinks when others do well and I know that I could have been in that place. I’m happy for the other people but its a feeling of regret that I could have achieved that too. 

I’m so excited for the summer, I could say that another billion times and not get tired of it. I have a schedule already set up of what I want to accomplish over the summer and what I want out of it. :D Need to get back in shape, need to finish scholarship applications, and take advantage of the research opportunity.

So I came to the conclusion of that it’s only gonna be her or no one else, at least for high school. I think she likes me, I just need to get to know her better. I will wait as long as I can, and my that I mean graduation next year. And if she doesn’t like me then so what… can’t we be friends?

So that’s what I want to start and accomplish.

So last week (or thats what I remember), North Carolina passed Amendment One. This piece of legislation defines what constitutes a marriage and who can participate. It defines marriage as a “unionship” between a man and a women. And when I use the word unionship I mean the emotional and psychological definition and not the legal definition. This topic area has been gaining a lot of popularity and after the passage of the bill, President Barack Obama came out and supported LGBT  and gay marriage. This may have jeopardized his chances of winning. But besides all the background information and stuff, I just want to put my opinion out there too. 

I think the government shouldn’t even discuss this problem, but sadly because religion has seeped into our politics and public policies. Due to that the government has to engage in lengthy debates that waste time, where instead this time could be used to address foreign policy and economic recovery strategies. Further more, I have a beef with the voters in NC who voted for this bill. Has anyone heard of the Bill of Rights, where it clearly states that Church and State must remain separate, independent, autonomous, free, nonaligned with, or whatever word that gets that point across. I understand that religion plays a role in defining morals of individuals and yes, politicians too. However it should not define public policies and furthermore should not be forced upon others. We do live in a Christian nation, but my parents moved here because opportunity was present and my parents knew that our rights such as practicing another religion without persecution and being a minority would be protected. Also why do people force their views on others, if an individual wishes to marry the same sex partner, why is it wrong? Because your father told you so? Because your religion said so? But why does it matter, its not his religion nor farther. 

A friend that I meet last year did a really good job in trying argue for civil rights for Homosexuals. 

          As a heterosexual, black Christian, I will never understand why a country that’s supposed to be secular continues to force such religious and xenophobic ideals into legislation. I mean, if a black man or woman can vote and have civil liberties, and a white man or woman can vote and have civil liberties, why can’t an LGBTQ? It’s disappointing to see that blacks and Christians are so opposed to Obama’s agreement on the necessity for gay rights. Unless this country changes this non-accepting behavior, I refuse to believe that America is a “free nation” or “home of the free” 

To Christians in opposition to gay rights: the same God that we venerate and religion we tout is the same one that teaches to have compassion and love towards ALL man, regardless of any predisposition. The God that I serve is one that I believe has more room in Heaven for those that loves all men equally while spreading the gospel of the Lord than for those that are fickle in who they choose to accept. Just think: if Jesus Christ could accept a man responsible for his own death, why can we not accept someone that does does us no personal harm?

To the African-American community in opposition: we of all people have NO right whatsoever to decide whether or not some other group of people can marry or have civil liberties. I mean, come on, have we forgotten about the message of Dr. King? Have we forgotten about 1964? Don’t forget, for over a century we were once considered as 3/5 of a person and for multiple centuries considered as property. Many non-blacks risked their lives just for us to be able share a public restaurant and to not be called Niggers (at least to our faces), so it would be a shame to not help those in need after receiving so much help ourselves.

We’re all human, and last time I checked, LGBTQs are not diseased, and they really just want to live their lives normally like any other American. Hell, they still pay taxes and contribute to the growth of our nation. This really shouldn’t be such an issue, not in 2012.

     -Timothy Okechukwu Nwachukwu

Two exams done and three more to go. Story of an IB kid. Life seriously is stressful and restless. But hey a few more days of this and a few days of actual work, summer will be here and everything will be back to normal. Only stress I see in the summer is looking for scholarships, applying to colleges, and perfecting my SAT score. Besides that summer is looking good. 

Stanford, UPenn, Emory are my top three universities I would like to attend, but hopefully my hard work pays off. 

I really do miss those old memories, and I sometimes wonderful if I should have taking advantage of those moments. Actually see where we could have been instead of playing it safe. When I look at it, will we be friends after high school? So does it matter if I mess it up?

Well sadly my life is now coming to a low point after so many days of wonderful events and stories. It’s called Calculas. Yes people, Calculas. I know I’m Asian and all but this is one subject I haven’t been able to master and furthermore completely understand. I somewhat blame my dad for entirely helping me and my lack of commitment to learning this subject. When looking at this overall, I know I’m SCREWED. I want a three on the BC but that seems far from happening. Well thats that and nothing can change it. 

Good songs:

1. English is good - Tokyo Police Club

     (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KGCAffvGIw&ob=av2e)

2. Crank it up by - David Guetta ft. Akon

     (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luKU_4A4VXY)

3. Paradise - Coldplay

     (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G4isv_Fylg&ob=av2n)

Its almost one in the morning and my exam starts at 12. Exams, exams, exams… They are pointless. Exams, I believe do a poor job in defining a person’s credibility in a specific task, but yet they do a good job in rooting out possible failures. So as that goes, it is important for me to get off my rant stick and sleep. 

It seems to me, as I look back at myself, that I’ve changed a bit. (just a observation)

Another prayer, wish, longing for summer to come quicker. So many friends to reunite with and so many places to experience. 12 weeks of openness and experience that is in the palm of my hands, I can do some much with. 

So today is sunday and tomorrow is my first AP test. I have so much stress right now and sadly I can’t sleep. But after next week my life will be a bit more relaxed compared to previous months. But luckily I have a few friends I can talk to and relieve my stress. 

Summer is so close, I can literally taste it; I love unripe blueberries. We have a Oak tree that is exponentially growing, and I just want to sit under it and read a book. I love the summer, that may be because I’m a late spring/early summer baby. 

Come faster summer!

I had a pretty decent day again. 100 on my Chemistry test, bam. Yeah so, overall my day wasn’t a waste or day I can really complain about. So I am gonna take the time to talk about some of things I am afraid of. 

1. I am really scared that one day I’m gonna end up in a mental institution.

2. I’m petrified by spiders. Any kind of spider will make me lose it. 

3. I think that some days I’m slowly dying. :( As of right now, my left leg is having muscle spasms in my knee area and I can’t do anything about it. 

4. Sometimes I think I have no real friends that are near me. I know I have a few friends, but they are far from me. :(

5. No offense to the homeless and their situation. I’m scared that I will end up in poverty and become a nobody. In life, I want to do some great things; help people. Sadly my grades scare me and so does my rank. 

Another wonderful day :D I seriously think I might be going psychotic, even when there is deranged things happening, I’m still excited and a bit happy. Maybe its my new way of coping with all the lunatic things that happen around me. Still getting mixed signals but it doesn’t bother me. The reason is that in a years time, I will be hopefully out of this state and anyway from most of the people I never got to know. 

I am starting a new page in my life. I have decided that every day is a blessing and I am going to try my best to take advantage of it. Smile as much as I can, say hello and hi to as many people as I can, and also trying to make others laugh and smile. I know some of my goals and ambitions are far-fetched but my people tell me, “with hard work, anything can be done.” Well I’m gonna work hard and try to get myself into your life, as a friend, best friend, or the random person you come to every time when your a bit down. I just want to be there because your an amazing person and I would like to be a part of it, anyway possible. And if you dont feel the same way, well I tried and I can tell myself that I don’t regret any of it and it’s your loss. 

I can’t wait for the summer, so many places to go and so many people to see. I really do want to hang out with people at home, but I haven’t seen these kids for so long and I really miss each and everyone of them. CONA, Boys State, NJP here I come, with a open mind and take everything I can from your programs. Come at me life! :D

Day was amazing. Carwash and Prom were the highlights of my wonderful day. 

Buddha at Ngyen Khag Taktsang Monastery

So people say that your first love is the hardest to forget. I don’t know about first love but the first person I had a crush on, still comes up from time to time. But that doesn’t matter anymore because theres someone else. Life goes on and on.  

This week has already passed two days. Time seems to fly by without anyone considering what actually has happened. Everyone is too busy to actually recollect their thoughts and see what the day presented them. Everyday seems to pass with me looking back and wondering if i could have changed what i did, but then i seem to realize that I can’t change anything that has happened because it’s to late. Spring break to summer vacation, all the breaks that are given, it seems to be a waste. 

Its 11:35 on a saturday during spring break, and I’m going through some old movies. I watch the same old movies every year, it’s a bit odd. Since the morning, I had an urge since the morning just to do nothing. I usually have a strict agenda down but since yesterday and that unexpected hiccup in my plans, I’ve been a bit different. I didn’t go running and I didn’t do any work. Overall I have been restless and anxious.